I’ve Lost You Only to Discover That I Have Gone Missing

I’ve Lost You Only To Discover That I Have Gone Missing

(75mins, no interval)

Photo: Camilla Greenwell Dancers: Rudzani Moleya & Aneta Zwiezynska

My silence will not protect me now, my voice is out.

This Arts Council England and Surrey Arts/Dance 21 supported dance production is grounded in the autobiographical experiences of people’s diverse relationships. The work emerges directly from the Moving Kinship hubs with families affected by young onset dementia. In probing the complexities of dementia, this production tackles social and medical taboos about dispossession, intimacy, vulnerability, consent and othering – inviting audiences to re-imagine everyday relating as small acts of embodied resistance. Shaped by ongoing feminist research, and Judith Butler’s work on loss and the politics of mourning in particular, this dance work considers how dementia-friendly values are ubiquitous and can enrich our perceptions and relating in human and more-than-human ways. Since the work was first developed in 2017 it has toured in the UK and internationally. Each production is responsive to different audiences and venues. This artistic work has spanned the deaths of three parents in the artistic team, and a pandemic.

Watch the TRAILER

Photo: Camilla Greenwell Dancer: Maria Palliani

Production Team

Artistic Direction & Choreography (with the cast)

Beatrice Allegranti

Cast

Aneta Zwierzynska, Maria Palliani, Rudzani Moleya, Takeshi Matsumoto, Luke Birch

Original Soundscore & Lyrics

Jill Halstead

Original Live Music

Robert Howat

Text

Beatrice Allegranti

Dramaturgy

Stella Duffy

Prop Design

Renascentis by Darcy

Lighting Design

Jackie Shemesh

Associate Lighting Design

Ali Hunter

Technicians

Nick Duncan & Crew

Costume Design

Marco Tripoli

Photography

Camilla Greenwell

Film Crew

Alice Hiscoke, Geoff Halstall, Jack Baker

Editor for Digital Performance

Alexander Lopera

Company Producer

Nancy May Roberts

Commissioners & Partners

Arts Council England, Surrey Arts, Dance21, Camberley Theatre, Riverhouse Barn Arts Centre, Alexandra Palace, Dementia Action Alliance, Merton Arts Space, LGBTQI Music Network, Dementia Pathdfinders; University of Roehampton, University of Bergen, Social Acoustics Bergen, Last Chapter Festival, Norway.

Previous performances:

Open Senses Festival (May 2017); Babel in Bloom (June 2017); Crouch End Festival (June 2017); Psychoanalysis and Creativity Conference, University of Canterbury (November 2017); Merton Arts Space (December); Alexandra Palace, Transmitter Hall (December 2017); Wellcome Collection (May 2017); Michaelis Theatre, University of Roehampton (March 2018); Bergen International Festival & Social Acoustics (May 2018), Utrecht Centre for the Arts (March 2019); Last Chapter Festival, Norway (2021); Camberley Theatre (2021).

Work-in-progress reviews:

Neil J Garcia, Poet, professor of Poetry, University of Manila, Phillipines: Review of Beatrice Allegranti’s work-in-progress showing and keynote at GRACE Gender and Cultural Equalities in Europe with Utrecht Centre for the Arts.

Pippa Kelly, Award winning Dementia Journalist, Review of the early stage work in 2017.

Audience responses from performances during 2019-2021 below.