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I Can’t Find Myself

“Though short, it takes us on a rich journey of the senses and leaves a profound impression on the audience, conveying the truth that dementia touches us in body, soul and spirit, and not just in mind. The film packs an emotional punch: it does not hide the pain and distress that can be caused, but offers hope in showing glimpses of the warmth and connection that remain. I Can’t Find Myself is multi-layered, skillfully using several art forms to spark reflection on many levels, enabling exploration of the complex facets of life with dementia”. Julia Burton Jones, Dementia Pathfinders

I Can’t Find Myself  is another new international collaboration between the creative feminist duo – Beatrice Allegranti and Jill Halstead. This short film, released this year, explores the experience of dementia. The aim of the film is to create a wider understanding of people living with dementia and how engagement with the entangled relationship between dance and music can enhance kinesthetic and affective responses – not only for those who live with dementia but also, crucially, for their carers.

Following Allegranti’s established creative methodology, the film and soundscore is based on collaborative fieldwork and interviews – undertaken in the UK and in Norway – with people who live with dementia and their carers – from a variety of cultural backgrounds. Through the use of dance theatre and music, the film takes the audience on one woman’s powerful and evocative journey highlighting the emotional, kinesthethic and sonic world of memory, love and loss.

International screenings will be in arts venues and festivals and specifically targeted for people employed in services that impact on people with dementia (e.g. care home and domiciliary care staff, trainee mental health nurses, emergency services staff, hospital A&E staff, retail providers).

Watch the trailer here

 

Directed & Produced by: Beatrice Allegranti

Co-Producer: Neil Max Emmanuel

Music: Jill Halstead

Choreography Made in Collaboration with: Beatrice Allegranti and the cast

Cast: Sarah Lam (actress); Luke Birch (Dancer); Layla Smith (dancer); Geoffery Unkovich (dancer); Aneta Zwierzynska (dancer)

Project Manager: Barbara Christians

Director of Photography: Rami Barthody

Film Editor: Arturo Calvete

Costume and Set Design: Samantha Dowson

Hair and Make up: Maxine Hughes

Production Photography: Sarah Lam; Joanne Jennard; Jason Read

Transcription: Abbie Carter

Graphics and Design: NCreative

Funding & Partnerships: The University of Roehampton, Department of Psychology and Centre for Arts Therapies Research UK; The Grieg Academy of Music – Unit for Music Therapy, Bergen; the University of Manchester; the University of Leeds, School of Healthcare; The Alzheimer’s Society UK; Nettverket Musikk og Eldre (Network for Music and the Elderly), Norway; The National Theatre, London; The Orange Tree Theatre, Richmond; Dementia Pathfinders at Sadler’s Wells; Olympic Studios Cinema, London; Bergen International Festival.

 

Useful Links: 

Sarah Lam – see photos capturing the rehearsal process

Jill Halstead – the film’s composer

Dementia Pathfinders – Ongoing project partners

Bergen International Festival - where the film was screened in Norway

Centre for Arts Therapies Research - Beatrice Allegranti directs this centre

Olympic Cinema – the film’s UK premier was here